Why not me?


I’m happy for you but sad for me. Why not me?

Hearing that someone is expecting or has had their baby is so wonderful. But hard. Very hard. I truly am happy for you. I’m just sad for me. Why not me? I’m so happy you didn’t have to experience the heartache of pregnancy loss or still birth. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. I’m so happy that your pregnancy was beautiful and that you got to dress your baby bump and take milestone pictures. I’m so happy that you had a creative gender reveal and then put together the perfect nursery. I’m so happy that you had the baby shower of you dreams. I’m so happy that your birth plan went as planned and that you brought that bundle of joy home.  
Believe me, I am happy for you. Please don’t feel uncomfortable about telling me that you’re trying or expecting. I am happy for you. Don’t feel uncomfortable complaining about your morning sickness, weight gain and swollen feet. I am happy for you. 

But I’m sad for me. Why not me? You name it, we’ve tried it! What am I doing wrong? Im exhausted, I feel defeated and I’m so broken. But I know that God will turn my ashes into something so beautiful when He’s ready. I know that my story isn’t over. I know that even though I feel like we’ve waited long enough, I can’t force the works of the All Mighty. 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s